ATW! Archives - Page 3 of 9 - All the Way Leadership Blog

Insightful questions strong leaders ask themselves to effectively engage their team members

The Federal government shut down several years ago. Almost every government employee was sent home. My team remained to keep things going. No one knew how long the crisis would last. I briefed our leader about the situation. The biggest concern was how would we keep people motivated during the shutdown. “How often do you meet with your team?” she asked. We met weekly, I answered. She recommended we establish a daily stand-up session. We did and it worked. We were able to engage everyone daily. The shutdown eventually ended and we got back to business without any major missteps. This leader was well prepared to handle this situation because she always asked insightful questions.

Strong leaders ask insightful questions.

IQ#1- How often do you engage all of your team members?

This question is crucially important for any leader to consider, especially if you have a virtual team or remote team members. You only have so much time available in your schedule, so make the most of these engagements. This question begs another one which is how often should you meet with your team members. There is not one right answer for all situations. The general guidance I am providing is that you meet more often with junior team members vice your seasoned veterans. A recent college hire will likely need more guidance, coaching, and mentoring than team members who possess decades of experience. Consistency is the key.

Hybrid work environments are becoming more common.

Strong leaders engage all of their team members on a consistent basis

Strong leaders make a habit of engaging all of their team members on a regular basis. It is hard to build trust and rapport with your team if you are not talking with them consistently. This point is especially true for new leaders or experienced leaders who are in a new role. A typical pattern may look something like this:

A weekly team meeting for collaboration, and coordination.
A bi-weekly 1-on-1 meeting with each team member.
A monthly social event – team lunch, happy hour, etc.

I don’t have, nor am I suggesting a magic formula for how to consistently engage your team. Rather, simply make sure it happens. Send out the recurring meeting invites so that these sessions are on the calendar.

Don’t exhaust your team with endless meetings

IQ#2 – Does everyone understand the purpose of your meetings?

Speaking of meetings – many people feel like there are way too many of them. It seems like there are even more meetings now than there were before the pandemic. Nowadays more people work remotely. It is easier than ever to pack your calendar full of meetings. Don’t do it. I am not anti-meeting. They are useful for sharing information, collaborating, and connecting with your team. I do think it is important that everyone understands the purpose of your meetings. Otherwise, you risk wasting your team members’ time by having them sit in meeting after meeting. Your team needs time to get their work done. Don’t force them to work extra hours or multi-task all day long because you packed their schedules with endless meetings.

Memes about meetings are popular these days.

Strong leaders do not micromanage their team via status meetings

I am noticing that status meetings are all the rage these days. Leaders will gather a large group to get the current status of everything. Status reviews are a best management practice, but be careful. As a leader, you will drive your team nuts if you are constantly asking them for status updates. There is a word for this problem – micromanagement. I have written about this topic before. No one wants to be micromanaged. It goes against human nature and is a bad engagement technique.

High performing team members don't need to be micromanaged. — Most team members don’t need to be micromanaged.

IQ#3 – Do you have a formal and/or informal awards program?

The third insightful question to ask yourself as a leader focuses on recognition. Are there formal and/or informal awards that you can give to deserving team members? I have been a leader in the military, academia, and private industry. Every organization I worked in had an awards program. It is important that you understand how awards are managed so that your high-performing team members are properly recognized for the value they deliver. If you fail to take care of your people they will leave to find a place where they are appreciated.

Make sure your team members receive proper recognition.

Strong leaders make sure their team gets rewarded in informal ways

There are never endless resources for awards programs. It is common that there are simply not enough awards for your deserving team members. What can you do as a leader? Put in place an informal awards program. I have implemented this idea several times and it was always well received. Come up with a clever way to show your appreciation and gratitude for all the hard work and outcomes your team members produce. It might be something as simple as gift cards, or a silly trinket. For one team I led, we handed out footballs to recognize high performers. We modeled the idea after what football coaches do after a win. They hand out game balls. The team loved the idea, and it became a best practice for us to recognize excellence.

I have always believed that the way you treat your employees is the way will treat your customers and that people flourish when they are praised.
Richard Branson

Take the time to ponder insightful questions about how to engage your team

Strong leaders understand the importance of effective engagement with their team members. They ask insightful questions. Strong leaders engage all of their team members on a consistent basis. They do not micromanage their teams. Strong leaders make sure their team gets rewarded. Be that kind of leader – one who knows how to engage their team members in a meaningful manner.

ATW! will make you a better leader

I hope you join me on this journey to raise the next generation of leaders. The world is in desperate need of more great leaders. Women and men who lead with confidence, clarity, and creativity. It’s time to become the leader that your world needs. Let’s go All The Way!

All the Way Leadership!

A special Veterans Day tribute to the best veteran I ever knew

A few years ago my family laid my father, Colonel Richard Keating, to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. He was a veteran and cared deeply about other veterans, everyone who wore a uniform in service to the country he loved. My dad served over 23 years in the Army as an Infantry Officer, starting in the 82d Airborne Division. He went on to become a Green Beret who fought bravely for his country during three tough combat tours in Vietnam. Veteran’s Day had a special meaning for my father. I am reposting this blog in honor of him.

My father during one of his tours in Vietnam.

My father rarely ever cried

I looked over at my dad and noticed he was crying. It is not often that my father was moved to tears. He usually did not cry on Veterans Day. My dad, my sons called him Opa, was one of the toughest people I ever knew. He was an Airborne Ranger Special Forces officer who survived three tours in Vietnam without a scratch. He also had a big heart. I only recalled him crying when family members passed away.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2485.jpg — My dad in front of the WWII memorial in Washington DC.

Veteran’s Day 2017 was a special one

My brother and I had the privilege of escorting my dad to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington DC. Opa participated in a ceremony with his 1956 West Point classmates. Each year those who are still here gather at the wall to honor one of their classmates who perished during the war. They read the names of the fallen, share the story of one in detail, and then walk down to where the name of that person is etched on the wall to place a wreath.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2486.jpg — My father in front of the Vietnam War memorial.

Family members of the fallen participate

It is a simple ceremony – nothing fancy. No long speeches, no politicians, no fanfare. Just a small group of veterans honoring one of their own. It was one of the most powerful Veteran’s Day events I have ever witnessed. I can understand why my dad cried during the ceremony. I teared up more than once while there.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2488.jpg — Kicking off the informal ceremony for the USMA class of 1956.

Visiting the wall is difficult for many veterans like my dad

I am really glad that Opa was brave and decided to participate in the ceremony. He usually didn’t. My dad is a Vietnam veteran. He served three tough tours there. He lost a lot of friends in the war. Visiting the wall was a draining event for him. It was an emotional one. The wall reminded him of the war, battles fought, lives lost, and the complicated aftermath.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2487.jpg — My brother and Dad read names on the wall.

Many veterans thrived after Vietnam

Fortunately, my father was able to return to the states and live a healthy and productive life after the war. My brother and I are the direct beneficiaries of my dad’s ability to put the war behind him and fulfill the American dream – to provide for your children so that they have an even better life than the one you lived. I have the same dream for my children and will do all that I can to make that happen. I want them to have a better life than mine. The reason veterans fight is for a better tomorrow.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2493.jpg — Several of my dad’s classmates went on to be generals.

Veteran’s Day is for telling stories

My dad was a generous person and was always willing to help others in need. I experienced this firsthand as his son and witnessed it as he interacted with others. I saw another example of it during this ceremony. After we walked down to the wall Opa called over one of the family members who attended. He was the grown son of a fallen classmate. He is probably my age, or maybe even a little bit older. My dad let this family member know that he was good friends with his father many years ago. Opa shared a funny story that the man had never heard before.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2492.jpg — Veterans catching up and telling stories.

Veterans know stories that family members need to hear

Dad proceeded to tell the son of his fallen classmate about his father. What his dad was like as a man. How he was a strong, smart, and brave soldier. Opa thought about the world of his classmate and was very sad when he learned about the untimely death of his good friend. My father was emotional – his eyes welled up with tears. Fond memories mixed with painful blasts from the past. It was a difficult thing for my dad to do, but he did it anyway. Opa gave this man a special gift that morning. The gift of knowing that his own dad was a great soldier. Afterward, the man thanked Opa for his service, and more importantly for letting him know about his father.

Opa talking to son of fallen classmate — Opa tells a story to the son of a fallen classmate – the gift of memories.

Thank you to all veterans

It is impossible to calculate the toll war takes on a nation, especially its veterans. So it is important that we honor those who have served. The brave men and women who have sacrificed so much for our country. They deserve our respect and gratitude. My father is from a generation that fought an unpopular war, in an unknown part of the world, for reasons that are still somewhat of a mystery to this day. It was tough, but he and his generation did their part.

From this day to the end of time, without our being remembered: we few, we happy few, we band of brothers—for whoever sheds his blood with me today shall be my brother. However humble his birth, this day shall grant him nobility.
Henry V by William Shakespeare

Today’s veterans deserve our thanks

For the past two decades, our country was entangled in a long war that has cost our nation dearly. Today’s veterans face many of the same challenges that my dad and his classmates did many years ago. One day many years from now they too will gather together and talk about the wars they fought. As for you – do your part. If you see any veterans – thank them for their service. They deserve it, just like my dad.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_2490.jpg — More stories about fellow veterans.

ATW! is designed to make you a better leader

I hope you join me on this journey to raise up the next generation of leaders. The world is in desperate need of more great leaders. Women and men who lead with confidence, clarity, and creativity. It’s time to become the leader that your world needs. Let’s go All The Way!

All The Way Leadership!

Strong leaders effectively engage their team members using many methods

Last month I wrote about the fact that strong leaders engage their team members in a meaningful manner. The next series of blogs will describe in more detail how to engage your team. In the post-pandemic world, these leadership skills are more important than ever.

Employees who believe that management is concerned about them as a whole person – not just an employee – are more productive, more satisfied, more fulfilled. Satisfied employees mean satisfied customers, which leads to profitability.
Anne M. Mulcahy

Some leaders are simply not good when it comes to engaging their team members

Years ago, I worked for a leader who did not know how to engage his people. He made everyone nervous with his awkward interactions. It would not be an issue for many roles, but it is problematic if you are a leader. In this case, he was a Battalion Commander with over 500 people assigned to his unit. It was embarrassing how awful he was engaging others. Morale suffered greatly because no one knew what the commander wanted, or if he was ever pleased with our performance. Everyone sighed with great relief the day this commander left. He was that bad.

No one enjoys engaging with awkward leaders.

The leader who replaced him knew how to make good connections with others

A new leader arrived. This leader knew how to engage with her soldiers. Morale improved immensely and performance improved across the board. Simply because we were working for a leader that cared about her people and went out of her way to engage with them in a meaningful manner on a regular basis. She was the kind of leader I enjoyed working for and learning from. She was that good.

Positive engagement leads to better results.

A tool to help you engage your team members

As a leader, it is important that you know how to engage your team members in a meaningful manner. There are several different techniques available for leaders to leverage. The table found below describes many methods for engaging your team.

Use the most appropriate technique to engage your team

Status meetings – use this method to find out the status of current activities. You will learn about the work your team is doing. People typically enjoy sharing what they are doing with others, especially their leader.
One-on-one meetings – this method is for discussing individual performance and career goals. It is a good way to set expectations and provide or receive feedback.
Hallway conversations – this informal method allows leaders to touch base with team members to see how they are doing. You can quickly learn what is “top of mind” for your team which is vital for leaders to know.
LBWA = leadership by walking around. Leverage this method to get a sense, in general terms, of your team members’ attitudes and sentiments. It is an excellent way to identify challenges early on so that you can resolve them quickly.
Two-word check-in – I learned this method from a Brene Brown leadership course. It works well in a virtual or hybrid setting. Ask your team members at the beginning of a meeting to say or type in the chat two words that describe how they are feeling. It helps leaders show empathy at work, especially if someone is not feeling good.

Obviously, there are many more techniques than what is covered here.

Engaging your team on a regular basis will pay off.

What about you? Do you know how to engage?

Do you know how to engage your team members in a meaningful manner? If not, it is time to learn how. We will explore this topic in detail to include points to ponder, practical tactical tips, and lessons learned based on decades of experience.

ATW! is designed to make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

Strong leaders always engage their team members in a meaningful manner

Think about a strong leader you know. Ask yourself a question. Did she engage your team members in a meaningful manner? The answer is yes. Strong leaders do. Now think about a weak leader. Someone you did not enjoy following. Ask yourself the same question. Did he know how to engage his team? Your answer probably changed to no. It is difficult to follow someone who does not know how to have meaningful engagement with their team members.

Team members expect to interact with their leader on a regular basis

Engagement with your team members is a constant leadership challenge

All leaders engage with their team members. It is part of any leadership role. The frequency varies and depends on several factors. For example, some leaders interact with their team on a daily basis in a physical work location. Other teams work completely from home and all engagement is virtual. Some teams are hybrid. The best leaders I worked for have energetic engagement with their teams on a regular basis. Sure – you can avoid many personal interactions by either hiding in your office or packing your calendar full of meaningless meetings. Weak leaders use this approach hoping that no one will notice. Don’t be that kind of leader.

Hiding from your team is never a good idea.

Research shows that engaged team members produce much better results

There are several research studies focused on how employee engagement affects performance. Each of them seems to come to the same conclusion – engaged employees produce better results. It makes good common sense – people who enjoy the people they work with get the job done, and then some. This video provides several examples of the positive impact engaged employees will create. The obvious implication for leaders is that it is a worthwhile investment of your time to focus on meaningful engagement with your teams. Ignore it and performance will suffer.

Disengaged employees cost U.S. companies up to $550 billion a year.
The Engagement Institute

Retaining high-performing people is a constant battle

If you want to succeed as a leader you need a great team comprised of high-performing people. Finding the best and the brightest talent is challenging. Keeping them satisfied and content at work is a constant battle. Another reason that meaningful engagement is vital to your success is that your high-performers will not stick around if they feel stuck in a rut. Like you, they want to learn, grow, and take on bigger challenges and greater responsibility. I have witnessed several leaders neglect to engage their top performers on a consistent basis only to watch them walk out the door later. Don’t make that mistake.

Don’t let your high-performers get bored and leave for the wrong reasons.

Team member engagement is even more important in the post-pandemic world

Many things changed in big ways during the pandemic including how leaders engage their team members. Nowadays some people work remotely full-time, some are hybrid (a few days in the office, the rest at home), while others still go into the workplace every day. Leaders need to factor all these variables into how they engage their team members, especially if they have remote or hybrid team members. Recently there have been several studies about the modern workforce that describe why so many people are quitting their jobs (the great resignation), working less than before (quiet quitting), and leading in a hybrid work environment. Strong leaders are paying attention to these post-pandemic changes. Weak leaders are saying everything is back to normal and that the pandemic will not have a lasting impact.

Virtual teams are more commonplace in the post-pandemic workplace.

What about you?

Are you engaging your team members in a meaningful manner? Do you know how to lead in the modern work environment? If not, don’t worry – All The Way Leadership! is here to help. The next series of blog posts will focus on this topic.

ATW! is designed to make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

A final quote about making good decisions from a famous leadership guru

The main focus of this leadership blog during 2022 has been making good decisions. Let’s wrap up this topic with a quote from a famous leadership guru that hammers home why it is important. If you want to be a great leader you must be able to make good decisions. Bad decisions lead to bigger problems down the road.

“Most discussions of decision making assume that only senior executives make decisions or that only senior executives’ decisions matter. This is a mistake.”
Peter Drucker

All leaders make many decisions

Peter Drucker is saying that if you are in a leadership position you will make decisions. It is a fundamental part of any leadership role. You may ask yourself – am I a leader? The simple answer is if you are in charge of anything or anyone then you are in a leadership position. Make sure you know how to make decisions, good ones. Remember, if you choose not to make a decision, then you have made a decision—the decision to do nothing which is usually unacceptable.

Leaders get paid to make tough decisions.

What happens when lower-level leaders make bad decisions

When junior leaders make bad decisions it produces terrible results. If they go unchecked, by senior and executive leaders really bad things can happen. I will use a real-world example to drive home this point. In 2018 a consultant provided a warning to a property management company about the state of their buildings in a Miami complex. It cited “alarming evidence of major structural damage to the concrete slab below the pool deck and abundant cracking and crumbling of the columns, beams, and walls of the parking garage under the 13-story building. Reports were filed, and plans were made, but the work was not completed in time. The buildings collapsed in the middle of the night on June 24th, 2021, and killed almost 100 people. A series of bad decisions and delays by execution-level leaders was not caught in time to avoid this tragedy.

Good decisions are needed at all levels of an organization

Peter Drucker is reminding us that decisions matter at all levels of an organization, not just at the top. Yes – senior executive-level decisions are hugely important. Decisions made by lower-level leaders also create impacts – either positive or negative. In high-performing organizations, execution-level leaders are empowered, and they make good decisions. At the other end of the spectrum, lower-level leaders may be inhibited from making decisions, or they are not trained to make good ones. Instead, they make bad decisions that create negative impacts. If left unchecked bad decisions made by non-executive leaders can lead to catastrophic results.

Empower and train your leaders so that they know how to make good decisions

How do you avoid a scenario like the one in Miami? Empower your leaders and train them so that they know how to make good decisions. Your team will amaze you with results if you make this investment. The more good decisions your leaders make, the better off your team will be today and down the road.

Help your leaders make good decisions with relevant training.

ATW! will make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

What is another horrible mistake to avoid when making decisions?

Our Brigade Commander gave the order. We would ruck march over 20 miles to start the field training exercise. His Battalion Commanders and staff recommended against this approach, but the Colonel didn’t listen. He said that is what they did in his last unit. We would do the same. His bias showed. I was an infantry platoon leader in the 82nd Airborne Division. I wondered why we were not training like we would fight – parachute assault into the field. It didn’t matter what I thought. We road marched the many miles as ordered. It sucked.

Rucking with a heavy load is exhausting.

Our Commanders bias caused him to make a bad decision

The road march was miserable. Laden with heavy rucks everyone suffered. Many paratroopers sustained injuries and everyone was exhausted by it. Things got worse from there. Over the next two weeks, many more soldiers were injured or sick as the days wore on. Morale plummeted and we performed poorly. By the end, our unit was no longer deployment ready. Our Brigade Commander got an ass chewing from the general afterward. He had made a common error in judgment – letting his bias get in the way of making a good decision.

Well-trained leaders listen to others before making decisions

A horrible mistake is making badly biased decisions

We all have biases. They are based on many things – your background, your experience, your knowledge, and a wide array of other facets. As leaders, having biases is not the problem. Making badly biased decisions is where we get ourselves into trouble. Cognitive bias comes in many different types. Researchers have identified several that can affect our ability to make good decisions. I am going to focus on two that deserve attention – confirmation bias and the bandwagon effect.

What is confirmation bias?

Wikipedia provides a clear definition. “Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values. People display this bias when they select the information that supports their views, ignoring contrary information, or when they interpret ambiguous evidence as supporting their existing attitudes.”

Confirmation bias is a trap for leaders

Many leaders fall into the trap of confirmation bias. Rather than seek input to make a good decision, they start with the answer they want and look for data to support their answer. I have witnessed many strong leaders make this mistake. I have done so myself. Confirmation bias may be based on your experience or relying on an approach that worked previously. If the decision is similar or the same as previous ones in your career it might work again. But, be careful. The more experienced you are as a leader the easier it is to let confirmation bias rule your decisions.

I like this representation of confirmation bias

How do you overcome confirmation bias?

The easy answer for overcoming confirmation bias is to gather sufficient data and listen to your stakeholders’ perspectives. That is a lot easier said than done. Gathering data takes time, and your stakeholders may have wildly different ideas than you. Strong leaders gather all the inputs they can and factor that data into their decisions whenever possible. I recognize that in some scenarios time is not your friend. You need to make decisions quickly. In that case, I recommend talking with at least one other person about the decision before you make it.

Get input from others to avoid confirmation bias.

What is the bandwagon effect?

In a word it is groupthink. This site provides a more detailed definition: “The bandwagon effect is a psychological phenomenon in which people do something primarily because other people are doing it, regardless of their own beliefs, which they may ignore or override.” Another term for it is herd mentality.

The bandwagon effect is a problem for some teams

I see the bandwagon effect all the time in the workplace. A leader offers a solution and everyone agrees with it way too quickly. Rather than debate the idea or ask insightful questions – everyone falls in line. The bandwagon effect is a real problem for some teams because the group is relying on the ideas of the leader rather than thinking for themselves. This leadership model is sometimes called the genius with a thousand helpers. Geniuses are rare and this approach does not scale well since the leader needs to weigh in on everything. Strong leaders are aware of the bandwagon effect and take steps to avoid it becoming the norm.

Followers need to think for themselves rather than simply agree with the leader.

One way to counter the bandwagon effect is to let others go first

If you are wondering what is an effective way to negate the bandwagon effect as a leader. It is to let others go first. Ask your team members for their thoughts, perspectives, and ideas before voicing yours. It is hard for strong leaders to always be patient, but this approach helps you make better decisions. One of your team members may have the best solution and you will never know unless you ask.

Strong leaders ask their team memebers questions for input.

One caveat – a bias towards action is a good thing

There is one bias that I believe is a positive attribute for leaders – a bias towards action. Too many leaders are hesitant to make decisions and waste a lot of time thinking about problems rather than doing something about them. Yes – complicated challenges and strategic issues may take time to resolve. But I much prefer working with leaders who are doers rather than overthinkers.

You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
Wayne Gretzky

ATW! will make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

What is a horrible mistake to absolutely avoid when making decisions?

Our Battalion Commander figured no one would notice. He was deployed, and so was she. They just happened to be in the same unit. Work forced them to spend a lot of time together. He decided to start an intimate relationship with this Army Major. Two big problems – he was married, and she was his direct subordinate. Others did notice that they were rather casual around each other. Too casual – so they looked into it. My battalion commander was caught red-handed in an extramarital affair which is unacceptable behavior for an officer, especially a West Point graduate. He was removed from command and sent back to the States in shame. A twenty-year career down the drain because of his horrible decision. He knew better.

A bad personal decision can take your career off a cliff.

A horrible mistake is making poor personal decisions

There is a marketing campaign that says whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Clever slogan. Unfortunately, this is not true for leaders. The horrible mistake you should absolutely avoid when it comes to decisions is making poor personal choices. What does that mean? Do not lie, cheat, or steal. You will get caught at some point. Pay attention to the choices you make after hours as well. Some of you may say that it doesn’t matter. I believe that is a naive perspective. It does. I remind the leaders I work with before every holiday party – to have fun, but don’t become legendary. Don’t drink so much that others talk about you for years to come.

A marketing slogan – not a leadership principle.

We live in the age of transparency

For better or for worse, we live in the age of transparency. If you are a leader and do something stupid, like sleep with a subordinate, people will find out. Nowadays almost everyone has a phone that includes a camera and microphone. It is easy for someone to record your bad behavior and share it with others. If you sexually harass your employees it will be revealed at some point in time. What should leaders do? Think before you act. I am not saying that you need to live a monk’s lifestyle. Rather I am saying to be smart when it comes to making personal decisions. If your parents or spouse will be embarrassed by what you are about to do…don’t do it.

Phones and cameras are practically everywhere nowadays.

Many leaders fall into this horrible trap

I could list leaders who have fallen into that trap. But, I don’t need to do that. We all know a leader who made a poor personal decision and paid the price down the road. For example, I have watched leaders get fired after a corporate off-site or holiday party because they decided to get drunk which led to unacceptable unprofessional behavior. It probably seemed funny to them at the time, but was it worth it? The answer is no. I cannot emphasize this enough – be smart when it comes to your personal decisions to include what you post on social media sites. The last thing you want to do is explain a stupid tweet you posted long ago when you knew better but did it anyway.

Some leaders don’t learn from their poor personal decisions.

One caveat – enjoy yourself when you are on vacation

I am a big fan of relaxing and having a good time when you are on vacation. Let your hair down and enjoy yourself. If you are a strong leader and work hard at your job, you deserve to take a break from the daily grind every now and then. Just make sure that you don’t go overboard and end up making poor personal decisions you will regret.

The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break is something that shouldn’t be squandered.
Harper Reed

ATW! will make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

Honoring a hometown hero this Memorial Day for paying the ultimate price

This weekend we honor the fallen by commemorating Memorial Day. It is one of the most important American holidays. Many of us know someone who paid the ultimate price to keep us free. If you served in the military over the past few decades it is more than likely that you are aware of an empty chair at a family table somewhere this weekend. With that thought in mind, I am honoring a hometown hero that I knew who sacrificed his life several years ago. Every Memorial Day I remember Humayun Khan. I pray that he forever rest in peace.

Captain Khan’s tombstone in Arlington Cemetary.

A hero and his family face controversy

A few years ago there was a lot of talk about Captain Humayun Khan, an American hero. His father’s comments at the 2016 Democratic National Convention created a tidal wave of media coverage. People took sides, the press stirred the pot. Instead of his death bringing Americans together, it divided us even more. At the time I was concerned that the most important part of the story was getting lost in all the noise. So, I am going to share the details of the heroic actions of Captain Khan. Both of my sons have heard this story many times before, but it is worth telling again.

Political ad from 2016 that included the Khan family

I knew Humayun Khan when he was a student

He was enrolled in the University of Virginia Army ROTC program while I was an instructor there from 1999 to 2001. I remember Humayun as a fine young man. He was pretty serious, focused on success, and responsive to training. He performed well as an ROTC cadet. To be frank – he did not really stand out from his peers. He fit in and showed great leadership potential like all his classmates did when they graduated from UVA and received their commissions. I did not think much about him until years later when I learned that he was killed in action while serving in Iraq. Like everyone who knew him, I took the news hard. I could only imagine what his family was going through. I can think of no greater challenge in life than losing a child. It must be devastating. My sympathies to the Khan family.

*Khizr and Ghazala Khan announced the Humayun Khan Memorial Scholarship Fund at UVA.*

Captain Khan was a brave hero when it mattered most

It is worth talking about the heroic actions Captain Khan took when he paid the ultimate sacrifice. Here is a brief description:

On June 8, 2004, Khan was inspecting a guard post when a suspicious taxicab began approaching too quickly. Ordering his subordinates away from the vehicle, Khan ran forward 10–15 steps and was killed by a suicide car bomb fitted with an improvised explosive device. The car detonated before it could reach the gates or the nearby mess hall where hundreds of soldiers were eating breakfast. Khan was also posthumously awarded the Bronze Star Medal and the Purple Heart and is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Plaque for Captain Khan that hangs on the Rotunda at UVA.

Several years ago I participated in Veteran’s Day activities at a local elementary school. At that event, I shared the story of Captain Khan with the students. I explained the circumstances of his death and described three reasons why I believe he is a true American hero. It seems appropriate to share them this Memorial Day.

Captain Khan’s actions demonstrate three hero-like qualities

Captain Khan put others first. He ordered his troops to take cover so that they were safe while he assessed the situation. He thought about them before he thought about himself.
Captain Khan possessed the personal courage to face danger head-on. He did not shy away from it. It is not a natural act for any of us to put ourselves in harm’s way. In this case, he saved the lives of many, by sacrificing his own.
Captain Khan built a legacy for others to emulate. His story of courage, bravery, and sacrifice should inspire us to greatness. When I think of Khan and his sacrifice, it makes me want to be a better person. I hope it does the same for you.

Captain Khan’s parents doing an interview.

Real heroes do exist

I do not expect that many of us will ever face a similar situation. Lord knows that I hope none of us ever do. But, it is reassuring to know that we have heroes like Khan in our midst. Heroes do exist. They don’t wear capes, fly an invisible jet, or come from another planet. Rather they are everyday people – like you and me. The difference is that they do extraordinary things when called into action.

In a twist of fate, my family used to live in the same house that the Khans owned when their son died. After we moved in I met his family, and we exchanged letters multiple times. I will share that part of the story at another time. This blog post is about honoring a hero, Captain Humayun Khan, so I will end here.

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13

All the Way Leadership!

Four lessons learned for how to make good decisions

Captain Goofball asked for my advice before making a big decision. Did he need to fire someone on his leadership team? I asked what his gut was telling him. Captain Goofball said every part of him was saying to fire the guy. His subpar subordinate was a low performer with a bad attitude. Do it was my recommendation. He thanked me for my input. I was a Company Commander in the Army, wondering if I was experiencing a lessons-learned moment for making good decisions. My hunch was correct.

Sometimes you need to fire a poor performer.

Things went from bad to worse

Captain Goofball did not fire the person. Problems got worse. His unit’s performance declined quickly. It was a direct result of Captain Goofball’s reluctance to replace a low-performing leader. Everyone knew how to solve the problem – fire the guy. Captain Goofball eventually was moved into a new position because he had made a bad decision. He chose to do nothing about the problem and paid the price.

If you fail to make tough decisions – you might lose your leadership role.

Learn from others’ mistakes to avoid repeating them – pay attention to your gut response

Captain Goofball knew instinctively that he needed to fire his lackluster leader. Rather than trust his gut he chose to ignore it. The first lesson learned for making good decisions is to pay attention to your gut response. I am not saying that you should make all decisions based on how your gut reacts. Rather I am recommending that you not ignore it, especially when you are making a decision and your gut is screaming – NO! According to this article – your gut is smarter than you think.

Simon Sinek on whether you should trust your gut

Lesson Learned #2 – use data to avoid emotional decisions

While trusting your gut is important, you also need to make data-based decisions whenever possible. Lesson learned number two is to use data to avoid emotional decisions. I remain amazed at the number of emotional decisions that I witness leaders make on a regular basis. If there is data available to inform your decision – use it. If your emotions are getting the better of you, calm yourself before making the decision. You will thank me later. We all get worked up at times, and it is perfectly okay to show your emotions as a leader. Don’t let them rule your decisions.

Data helps leaders make better decisions.

Lesson Learned #3- watch out for decision fatigue as your day progresses

Decision fatigue is a real challenge for all leaders. We all know this – making a lot of decisions is exhausting. Lesson learned number three is to watch out for decision fatigue as the day progresses. This article describes the scientific research related to decision fatigue and recommends four ways to counter it. They are listed below.

Limit unnecessary or unimportant decision-making.
Make important decisions first thing in the morning
Indulge in sugary snacks
Be self-aware

I agree with these recommendations, especially the first two. If you are “hangry” – eat something, although a healthy snack is a better choice than a snickers bar.

This video describes a few clever ways to counter decision fatigue.

Lesson Learned #4 – Groupthink is more common if you speak first

You need to let others share their thoughts before you do when making a decision. Lessons learned number four is that groupthink is more common if you speak first as the leader. It is human nature that most subordinates want to make their boss happy. One way to do that is to agree with your boss, especially in a group setting. It takes bravery and courage for anyone to tell their boss he is wrong. If you speak first, don’t be surprised if the group falls in line and agrees with everything you say. As a leader, you want insights from others, so let them share their perspective before you say anything. This lesson learned is particularly challenging for high-energy and action-oriented leaders. If that is you – calm down and keep your mouth shut, or else you run the risk of shutting down great ideas from your team.

Bottom line – leverage these four lessons learned for making good decisions

Pay attention to your gut response
Use data to avoid emotional decisions.
Watch out for decision fatigue as your day progresses.
Groupthink is more common if you speak first.

Not every decision needs to be made now. In fact, some never need to be made again.
Erin Wildermuth

ATW! is designed to make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!

Practical tactical tips leaders leverage for making good decisions

I listened intently as our leader spoke. He was letting us know about the big decision. He made it without consulting anyone. This leader claimed that everyone in the organization would agree. In fact, it was a bad move. Our leader was on the road to ruin. Fast forward a year and things were not good. His bad decision derailed the entire organization. Our leader made a classic mistake and paid the price. He did not know the practical tactical tips leaders leverage to make good decisions.

Practical tactical tips for making good decisions

All The Way Leadership! believes that strong leaders know how to make good decisions. They usually make good decisions for their teams. It is important that leaders ask insightful questions about the best way to make good decisions. In this post, I share some practical tactical tips (PTTs) for how to make good decisions based on experience. Simple advice for new leaders to follow.

Practical tactical tips can help you avoid making bad decisions.

Practical Tactical Tip (PTT) #1 – Choose the best method for making group decisions

Many times a group of leaders will make an important decision together. In this scenario, the group should choose the best method for making the decision as early as possible in the process. There is a big difference between a general consensus decision, a majority vote, and a unanimous decision. Making unanimous decisions is the most challenging. You want diverse opinions and views for big decisions which may lead to disagreement about the best path forward.

Voting is one method for making a decision.

PTT#2 – The bigger the decision the more voices needed

Big decisions are usually hard to make. The reason is that you do not want to blow it. Therefore, it is practical for a leader to confer with others when making a big decision. The bigger the decision the more voices you need at the table. You should avoid making mega-decisions on your own, or with just a few advisors. Indeed, sometimes you have to due to time pressures. But, you should aim to get as much input as possible whenever you are making a big decision as a leader.

Include many voices when making big decisions.

PTT#3 – Not making a decision is making a decision

No one likes indecisive leaders. They drive their teams crazy by taking forever to make decisions. Worse yet, they don’t ever make a decision. The reality is that if you avoid deciding you are actually making a decision. You are letting down your team, and putting your fate in the hands of others. Avoid this scenario at all costs. People don’t like working for leaders who cannot make timely decisions.

Working for an indecisive leader is frustrating.

Remember – Consensus is usually sufficient

One final reminder. Remember that consensus is usually sufficient for most decisions. It is rare that you will get everyone to agree on the best path forward, especially for big decisions. Consensus building requires time and energy, but it is well worth the investment, and much easier than making unanimous decisions.

Consensus doesn’t happen by magic… You have to drive to it.
Christine Quinn

ATW! is designed to make you a better leader

All The Way Leadership!